The Big T Video Blog

T in! Recently, been getting very suspicious comments from viewers claiming I am a homosexual. The Big T wants to make his point clear: I’m only going down that road if conditions become absolutely desperate. Right now, Big T has devised genius project to get Vegas hooker –  been dumpster diving for perfectly good McDonalds left-overs to save enough money to get bodacious AZN prostitute. Also tried cashing a few large checks I got from Big S and Dino, but those fuckers at Bank of America all discriminate against Big consonants like myself and told me to get the hell out. In the mean time, check out this little video I made which I like to call “Big T con bitches y vampire”  to prove that me not fudge packing yet.

Feel free to jerk along with the Big T to this amazing song!

The Big T is back in action after a month-long sabbatical of shamwowing semen and piss off his kitchen counter and vomiting down women’s cleavage at the club. Watch in admiration as The Big T makes an entrance to remember, only befitting for a man with such swagger.

Trivia Fact: Magnum condoms were first invented by Alex Weinstock’s mom as a paltry offering for The Big T – not that The Big T would ever condescend to block his seed. The Big T rebuffed this petty attempt to win his favor, and the condom was made commercially available for Big T wannabe-males who were insecure with their puny dicks.

The Big T likes to live large. That’s why he only shops for choice goods at some of the finest stores world-wide. Tune in to see what The Big T has decided to splurge on this week as he gives Dino the 411 on luxury shopping.

The Big T Loves poon. In fact, he loves it so much that he has decided to become a professional Pimp. We already know that The Big T is well versed in many forms of pickup. But hey, practice makes perfect right? From an early age The Big T would scour the streets of Bangladesh with fat stacks looking for hookers. As a certified pimp with a masters in pimpology this will afford him many opportunities to give a bitch a good backhand once in a while. Unfortunately this has relinquished his more recent desire to attain a degree in interpretive dance. Sorry T, your days in tight spandex are numbered… We had the chance to sit in on one of The Big T’s typical lectures and here’s what we saw.

Can you spot The Big T?

Upon liquidation of our most recent holdings Sally’s Big House and The Big T Enterprises, The Big T has been engaged in a search for capital to fund his most recent endeavor: The Big Towelee, a crude masturbation glove which he claims is “fun for the whole family. It’s the next best thing since bangbus really…” -The Big T exclaimed.

Following a juggling act and a blowjob The Big T was able to secure vested interest from the academy award nominated actor and director, Robert Loggia. Who quoted “The Big T’s talents far exceed his excellence in business!” not shortly after applying his signature to a check in the amount of thirteen dollars and forty-seven cents.

Can you spot The Big T?

After much deliberation and sadness, we decided to sell off the Big T franchise for a few hundred bucks to a very rich investor – Mr. OGC Esq. while the Big T name still retained any value. Plus the Big T was away in Armenia so he couldn’t try to block the move or do any of his usual bitching. Upon transfering the name, we were quite pleased to present the Big T, hereafter to be referred to as ‘The Big Nut Gobbler’ with his due. His portion of the profit was determined relative to the amount of social value he conveys at parties – $13.47.

See the Big T’s reaction as he receives his portion of the proceeds in the form of a large novelty check!