The Big T Video Blog

T in! Recently, been getting very suspicious comments from viewers claiming I am a homosexual. The Big T wants to make his point clear: I’m only going down that road if conditions become absolutely desperate. Right now, Big T has devised genius project to get Vegas hooker –  been dumpster diving for perfectly good McDonalds left-overs to save enough money to get bodacious AZN prostitute. Also tried cashing a few large checks I got from Big S and Dino, but those fuckers at Bank of America all discriminate against Big consonants like myself and told me to get the hell out. In the mean time, check out this little video I made which I like to call “Big T con bitches y vampire”  to prove that me not fudge packing yet.

Feel free to jerk along with the Big T to this amazing song!

Dear viewers (especially women that have carried my babies),

It has come to my attention that allot of you happen to be stupid skanks that don’t want to take responsibility for having my babies. This news much angers The Big T. A recent look at the vast reduction in my current child support payments as well as a market analysis of future child support payments suggests that me, The Big T esquire will be paying $56,541.76 less in child support payments this coming fiscal year 2010. Being the Alpha Male that I am it is in my best interest to spread my seed as much as possible so that the world is made a better place. Just think of how much better a world we would have if 51% or more of the population was a descendent of The Big T? Need I say more? Cept I just did (see below)

And so, when we are faced with a dire situation, the ultimate question becomes: Should women really be given a choice? And the answer is, no they should not. Take the fine country of El Salvador for instance. There abortion is illegal with a possible 30-year prison sentence attached. Now that’s a country! It’s clear that The United States could learn a thing or two from them. While we are indeed the richest country, clearly we are not as smart as El Salvador and their progressive political system. In addition, giving women rights has accounted for a considerable reduction in female trafficking. Now tell me, hows The Big T spose to bust a load on some slump buster when there are none!

I also wanted to point out some other reasons why abortion is bad. Having an abortion can also have adverse affects to one’s health and can result in:

• Blocked fallopian tubes
• Weakened cervix
• uterine scarring
• damage to the woman’s reproductive system which may make her unable to conceive in the future

Thats bad! This results in even less chance of you ladies having my baby a second time around (because everyone knows that the ladies can never sleep with The Big T just once)

Also, if you happen to be one of the bitches with my child please note that I am a very rich man so don’t feel guilty about keeping the baby because I can easily afford paying you out the minnimal child support amount per month. So the next time you think of not having The Big T’s baby, think again! As Dog The Bounty Hunter once said “You gotta go with Christ Bro”

P.S. If you are considering joining the side of god and rigeousness then you should check out this webpage loaded with inspiring anti-abortion activists! http://armyofgod.com/POClist.html

-T Out!

Me in Washington with Fellow Brothers protesting Against Women's Rights

The Big T is back in action after a month-long sabbatical of shamwowing semen and piss off his kitchen counter and vomiting down women’s cleavage at the club. Watch in admiration as The Big T makes an entrance to remember, only befitting for a man with such swagger.

Trivia Fact: Magnum condoms were first invented by Alex Weinstock’s mom as a paltry offering for The Big T – not that The Big T would ever condescend to block his seed. The Big T rebuffed this petty attempt to win his favor, and the condom was made commercially available for Big T wannabe-males who were insecure with their puny dicks.

Yo The Big T! Whatup my nig?

"If you aint grindin' nigga wat you want?"

Yea yea so I figured I’d shoot you some questions since you do real well with all dat kinky shit. I’m a single homie, but that don’t mean that I don’t get it on with the ladies. You seem like a nigga who dont get laid, fo straight?

Anyway, the otha weekend I met this real fine bitch named Tammy. She got a real big booty and her titties are all up in that face, Ya dig? We hit it off real well, I took her on several dates to McDonalds, Knicks games, KFC. If my baby want food I treat her right. Plus I got some nice welfare checks coming in, some big large fuckers, so unlike other guys she knows I can provide for her. But what she don’t know is that I like my shit. Yea I got gold chains, twenty fo’s, and all that Italian tile n’ shit. Why, just the otha night I went out and bought myself some nice Kashmir sheets, this shit is off the wall! I got all dem pillows, scented candles, the works, the fuckin works my nigga. So after the first night I met her I bring her back to my place. Now I’m a straight talker. I said, “Baby, I’m not gonna kid with ya. I wanna run a train all up in that ass”. And being me, no lady can resist such a proposition. So I rail her out real good. I showed her what a real dick looks like. After about 4 minutes of sucking my dick, i blew the load in her face. The only problem is, that bitch was squirtin up on all my shit. On my kashmir sheets, my gatt, my limited edition air jordans, she even squirt on my chain. Can’t even get them stains out! Fuckin bitch ruined my shit. Now I work all day to get that shit cleaned up. Nigga, I’m pissed!

After that night she’s been calling me non-stop. I was like shut the fuck up ho. She’s a cool ho and all but I don’t think I can be with a woman squirtin on all my shit like that. So my question to you, The Big T Is what causes these ho’s to squirt like that? And more importantly, wtf is that? I can’t afford to have piss in my crib if thats what it is… Do I cut this ho or what? Should i just thro this bitch in my trunk?

So what you say Teh Uncle Big T? Can you hook a brother up with some advice?

Ya Boi,
Notorious Snipa

The Big T Responds:

Yo Watup Snipa! Ok, so The Big T reads your problem and feels your pain. And often time have similar problem with women losing bowel control on face and beard. Usually though, The Big T manage to swallow all fecal matter before getting on prized Hannah Montana bed sheets. But yes, once The Big T remember having same problem and can help. First The Big T must ask, how old this girl? The Big T find that this problem mostly occur with girls very young… There are some ways to deal with problem. First, method involve buying industrial vacuum cleaner. With vacuum switch on, continue fondling and inserting phallus into vaginal. Hold nozzle adjacent to genitals with switched on. This suck up all matter and afterwords can use to make very good soup! Plus, vacuum also be used to please self from time to time, just make sure not to get dick stuck in tube! Also, you can buy special airbed to solve problem. When girl squirt it fun to play game where she fill up the holes in bed with fluids. Putting point values for each hole make it like carnival game! So moral of the story is gentlemen…. buy a god damn airbed!!! AMAZING!!!

P.S Go to WalMart… $12!!!

avec l’amour,
Monsieur Big T Esquire

T In! Today mark very big day for Big T and Blog. After morning wank with rubber glove Big T decide to have more wank to “armenian porn”. I type words into AOL search since it free and spent all money on discount mexican hooker (so what if she had mustache?) So what I see? The Big T see himself in top rankings for bodacious search term! So excited, The Big T decide WTF… Might as well have wank to own image since me so sexy. But now semen stuck in keyboard! It very hard to type message but Big T so proud! Muchas gracias to fans!!!

Big T Blog Ranks Top in Image Search for "Armenian Porn"

-T Out!

It’s not all easy living for The Big T. His enormous member requires constant grooming and a dedicated support team of 3 mexicans to carry it around on a hand truck. Worth the hassle? You bet! just look at how a little diddling is all The Big T needs to make sure he’s smarter than a 5th grader. Women, don’t be alarmed: Big T’s Penis does need to be satiated from time to time and may condescend to accept your petty offerings. It even has its own calling center in India with 24/7 technical support. Asian women and Karla are encouraged to apply.

*Editors Note* Every now and again The Big T will reach out to his fellow viewers for advice. The topics could be anything pertaining to The Big T’s life. Although, The Big T usually likes to inquire about topics such as favorite niche fetish porn sites, jerking techniques, personal stimulation, drunk chick strategy, underage affection, pirate seduction, and asparagus. If you are highly versed in any of these topics/subject areas The Big T would like to hear from you! Plus its a hell of allot cheaper to ask his loyal fans than actually hiring a psychiatrist… As The Big T would say: “Every penny saved is a penny that can be used towards a hooker”

Here’s this posts question brought to you by The Big T himself. Can you help better The Big T’s life? Make sure to leave your advice in the comments section of this post!

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Dear lovely belated amigos,

OK well this problem pretty new… Haven’t had much luck using Somalian paddling and sedative techniques so I figure I ask for some help… I’m 23 years old and my problem is that I constantly get this long erections all the time and not at the most appropriate times, specially when i am at work. I have already been fire twice over supposed indecent exposure and sexual assault… I will get them throughout the day for an hour or so, to the point that I sometime when I’m at work I have to go home during my lunch cause it hurts so bad. They are raging! Guess my question is, is there something I could do to prevent this? Medicine or whatever? I am not that sexually active at the moment meaning I don’t go out trolling for ass every weekend (OK, well kind of a lie…), but do have a very active lifestyle with work, exercising, and tuba. I had same problem when I was with my ex gf, we would fondle a few times a day, before work, after and so on and still had the same problem. Main reason why we split up, constantly arguing about her thinking she couldn’t satisfy me (But not surprised as I am one Big Man!). any advice or help would be really appreciated…

Your Sincerest,
The Big T

I Try Boner Reduction by staring at high resolution poster print of Margaret Thatcher while applying fish paste oil liberally over the affected region. But it only make boner worse... Please send more pics!

05-09-09
Dear Diary,

This morning I woke up with a boner and my dick ached from being so hard. Like most mornings I quickly blew one out to a picture of Meryl Streep that I had hanging on my bed post and then applied a tube of Ben Gay to the affected region. But that wasn’t really what I wanted to write about today. Something magical happened to me and I can only assume that the feeling I felt was love, since I didn’t pop a boner during the interaction as per usual. So let me start with what happened this afternoon. During work I was on break and I went to the the convenience store downstairs to get a red bull. Because red bull’s are the only thing I drink since I’m so ruthless. There’s this girl that works there at the register I’ve had some conversation with before off-and-on, just normal situational stuff. From time to time I will motion to my crotch and then give it a good firm grab. I can tell that she is impressed with my package. She looks about 14 but I am hoping she is 16 (since that’s the legal age of consent in most states). She has long pigtails, red hair, freckles on her face, pink braces on her teeth, and usually wears a yellow flower dress. So I asked her how her weekend was and addressed her by her first name. Usually I address women by their informal last name to assert dominance but this time was different… Then she asked me when I got off work-and I said 5. Which was kind of a lie because I usually like to stay later until everyone has left and smell the chair of the office secretary. She said she got off at 4. I said “lucky you” and she smirked. It looked as if my cunning linguistic skills were paying off. It ended there-there were people in line-but I see her like every day. But today was different. I felt such a connection between us! It was clear that we were already in the deep conversational level of a relationship. Something that most couples take years to develop. Was her question about her asking me when I got off work…casual conversation?…or an IOI? Clearly she is into me. I have to know! Tomorrow I think I will give her an assertive yet friendly grope and see how she responds… I just can’t stop masturbating about her, I think I’m in love!